


Interstellar Space Date

by arojakenglish



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, F/F, the prom goer's interstellar excursion au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arojakenglish/pseuds/arojakenglish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets kidnapped by aliens in front of Roxy, who finds herself an interstellar band consisting of Dirk, Jade, and Kanaya, in order to find him.</p>
<p>If you've read the prom goer's interstellar excursion by Chris McCoy, it's largely based on that and I highly recommend reading it as it's super. I have made quite a few changes to the story, but the basic story line with someone getting kidnapped and someone hitching a ride with a band is the same. All credit for characters goes to Hussie and all credit for the very basic plot line goes to Chris McCoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interstellar Space Date

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty I finally got this up!!! Thanks to my friend Rose for giving me feedback on this!!!!  
> Hope you guys like it!

Roxy sat next to John, slowly rubbing his back while staring blankly ahead. Crying harder, John leaned into her, clutching her tighter. Looking down at him, Roxy pulled him into a hug, leaning her head on top of his, feeling his shuddering sobs. She avoided looking at the casket at the front of the room by looking everywhere, anywhere, else. But she could only avoid the elephant in the room for so long. Eventually her eyes landed on the long black coffin at the front of the room. Next to it stood a picture of Mr. Egbert, adorned in his usual hat, smoking his usual pipe. Wincing and hugging John tighter, Roxy buried her face in his wild hair.

People were filing out, giving well wishes and ‘I’m sorry’s as they passed by. Roxy hated that. ‘I’m sorry’. Yeah? What would that do. She quickly sickened of the well wishes and made her escape to the bar. As she grabbed a bottle of water for John and a bottle of wine for herself, she noticed the bartender eyeing her, eyebrows raised; he just shook his head and turned back to the beer tap. Making her way back to John, she thought about Jane and how upset she would be that she was drinking. But it was just one bottle. Upon sitting down, Roxy was once again embraced by John.

The well wishers finally ran out and Roxy’s mom wandered over. Ruffling Roxy’s hair, she told them, “Stay here as long as you need. Come home when you’re ready.” John burrowed closer into Roxy as she agreed.

They sat like that for a long time, tears threatening to spill over Roxy’s cheeks. She fought them back; if she cried, who would be strong for John? The casket at the front of the room stared her down until she couldn’t take it, and looked back down at John. He’d fallen asleep, tears still streaking down his cheeks. Roxy thought about waking him; they’d been there long enough that the minister had told Roxy that he had to lower the coffin down. She had nodded and been secretly glad that John was asleep. After how he’d reacted to his dad’s death (with the running away for three days and everything), she wasn’t sure he’d react rationally to seeing his father lowered into the ground.

Roxy shook him gently and he jolted, blinking up at her, glasses leaving lines on his face as he removed them to wipe his eyes.

“Y’wanna go and walk around for a while?” Her words hinted at intoxication from the wine. Nodding, John stood up, pulling Roxy with him. She lead him outside, grabbing another wine bottle from the now unattended bar, and they walked side by side in silence.

The air was thick and humid, and few people passed by, likely avoiding the setting sun. After a good while of walking, John veered off the sidewalk, leading Roxy to a small trail; she instantly knew where they were going. It was the field where they’d found John after his father’s murder.

Roxy felt a tug on her sleeve as the center of the field drew closer. She looked over at John, who was staring straight ahead. “Let’s lie down.” They disappeared into the tall grass; Roxy resisted the urge to make a Pokemon joke.

Lying there, Roxy was desperate to say something, but what do you even say to someone who’s dad just died? She’d always hated ‘I’m sorry’.

“This sucks.” Roxy turned her head, looking at John staring into space. She was overcome with desire to take his pain away, tears pricking her eyes again.

“Yeah… It does.” When John looked back at Roxy, his eyes red but dry, she was at a loss as to what to do and quickly looked back at the sky. Before she could say or do anything else, John had wiggled around so his head was on her stomach.

“I feel awful.” John mumbled, looking up at Roxy, who kept looking up at the stars. She knew that if she met his gaze, she wouldn’t be able to contain it anymore, and she would cry.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I always got annoyed at him for the cakes and all. He was just trying to care for me. I avoided him all the time. And now it’s too late. I’ll never get him back.” John’s voice broke. “I’m worried he didn’t know I loved him.”

“Oh, John, he knew, I promise. I think most parents deal with kids like that.” Roxy’s breathing moved John’s head up and down, relaxing him.

“I really miss him. Stupid clowns and cakes and all.” Rolling over, John pressed his face into Roxy’s stomach.

“Johnny, that _can’t_ be comfrtable.” Roxy slurred before taking another drink from the bottle. As she put it down, she thought that she should probably stop drinking. Her friend needed her. She poked his face. “Come’n John, let’s go back. Mom will be worried about us.” John groaned before he lifted his head and shoved up off the ground. Roxy followed suit, the half empty wine bottle remaining on the ground. As they began to walk towards the edge of the field, Roxy steadying herself on John, lights started spinning above them.

Expecting to see a helicopter or a low airplane, they looked up. Instead, it was a van. A flying fuchsia van. John glanced at Roxy.

“Are you seeing this?” He asked, his gaze moving back to the flying vehicle.

“God, I sure hope so. Otherwise I’m drunker than I thought.” Something jumped out of the van, causing Roxy to stumble backwards. It was a creature with grey skin and tall thin horns that looked like candy corn. The creature looked at them; Roxy got a horrible feeling in her gut. She looked at John, and yelled, “RUN!” before taking off. John, who was much faster than her, quickly overtook her. She stumbled over the wine bottle she had left behind, slamming face first into the ground. She spat a mouthful of dirt out before scrambling to get up. John had skidded to a halt when she fell and had turned around and headed back to get Roxy. The creature and the van, however, went right by her, paying her no mind. Roxy peeked her head up over the grass and stared at the creature heading straight for John, who, upon seeing that Roxy was safe, turned around again and ran wildly away from the van.

The van got to him first and another grey creature jumped out, spraying something in John’s face, and grabbed his arm as he began to falter. Roxy stared at the van for a second before pushing herself up, grabbing the wine bottle and running towards the creatures as they tossed John in the back. Tall grass hit her knees, her dress catching on thorns of weeds.They glanced at her before hiking up into the van, starting it up. As it lifted up, Roxy threw the wine bottle at the back of the van, hitting it squarely on the left tail light, shattering both it and the bottle. The van stopped, the window rolled down, and a grey arm poked out, middle finger up. The arm receded and the van launched into the night. Roxy stared blankly after it for a couple minutes, stars twinkling at her. Nothing like your friend getting abducted to sober you up.

Once she’d processed what had just happened, she yelled at the sky, “HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK?” before walking up and grabbing the  largest remnant of the wine bottle. She looked at it, hating it. If she hadn’t tripped, John wouldn’t have come back for her, and he would have gotten away. This was her fault. Wandering back to town, staring at the wine bottle bottom, she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t just go back! People would wonder what happened to John. And she didn’t have a good answer for them. Who’d believe and alien abduction? She’d probably get accused of something. Not to mention, JOHN WAS JUST ABDUCTED BY ALIENS HOLY FUCK. “I have to get him back.” Roxy whispered to herself. Her mom would flip if John just disappeared. Plus, who knew _what_ those creatures would do to him!

Roxy pulled her phone out and googled ‘how to get abducted by aliens’. Feeling absurd, she glanced around. After confirming that she wasn’t being watched, she turned back to the screen, scrolling through several websites. Most said a traditional redneck would have a fairly good chance of getting picked up. Pick up trucks, trucker hats, camouflage, the works. She perused a few more websites before just deciding to go for it.

After buying a trucker hat, camouflage vest, and a flashlight from the nearest gas station, she snuck into the Egbert’s house and grabbed the keys to Mr. Egbert’s pick up truck. She drove out and around the fairly deserted parts of the town for a while, leaning out the window with her trucker hat and camo and acting as redneck as she could get. After a good half hour of driving around feeling ridiculous and seeing exactly no space ships, Roxy pulled into the drive thru of an In-N-Out Burger. There was a large purple van in front of her, and it wasn’t moving. After a good fifteen minutes, they finally pulled over to a parking space, and Roxy drove up to the window.

“I’ll take a burger and fries.” She told the skinny guy wearing the odd red and blue glasses.

“Sorry miss. Those guys just bought out the whole supply.” The burger guy told her through a strong lisp. Roxy fumed, banging her head against the steering wheel, honking the horn several times. She glared at the van out the opposite window before unbuckling and jumping out of the car. “Miss. You can’t leave your car here.” The In-N-Out guy called after her. Roxy ignored him and marched over to the van, banging on the sliding door. Sliding open, it revealed a tall gangly guy with blond hair sticking in every direction and the most ridiculous glasses Roxy had ever seen.

“Hey, you bought out all the burgers, and I’m kinda having a sucky night, could you _maybe_ spare one?” Roxy asked leaning into the van, annoyance creeping into her voice.

“Shit, if you can find one, you can have it.” He said, pulling Roxy into the van, where she found herself face to face with a creature just like the ones who took John.

“Holy SHIT!” Roxy blurted out. “Someone like you took my friend! And I wan’ him back!” Roxy said to the creature. She could tell they were of the same kind because of the grey skin and the horns, though this one’s horns were shorter and slightly more curved.

The alien said something in a language that Roxy didn’t understand. The tall guy from before handed her a glass with a bright purple liquid in it. Roxy eyed him warily.

“It’ll let you understand her.” Roxy, though still skeptical, shrugged and downed the glass. She really had nothing to lose. It tasted wonderfully like wine and Roxy immediately craved more. She refocused back on the alien, who repeated what she just said.

“It is quite possible that someone of my species has taken your friend. Some of my kind are corrupted and have turned to poaching. However, I don’t think I can help you in this particular situation. If they have taken your friend, there is not much hope for him.” The alien responded, enunciating each word in a British sounding accent. Roxy was amazed, if only for a second, by the drink.

“Bullshit! I want him back!” She yelled at the alien.

“Would you keep it down back there? I’m trying to figure out the directions to our next gig!” Came a cheery voice from the driver's seat of the van.

“You guys have to take me to him! I need him back!” Roxy whined, pulling the guy down to your level.

“Look, we can’t take you, we have a gig that we _need_ to nail.” The guy said. “And another one after that. But hey, if you come along, we might be able to track down your friend afterward.” Roxy’s eyes lit up and she hugged him. While it wasn’t ideal, it was something.

“Hella! Okay, I’m Roxy!” She walked over to the other side of the van and sat herself down on a very understuffed couch, looking expectantly at the others.

“Uh, I’m Dirk, and this is Kanaya. Up front is Jade.” Okay, tall blonde was Dirk and tall horns was Kanaya. Roxy nodded.

“Awesome. Now let’s goooo already!” Stretching out on the couch, Roxy closed her eyes.

“We’re not going anywhere if I can’t figure out the directions! What is wrong with this map?” The voice from the driver’s seat was getting closer and Roxy turned her head towards the front of the van, opening her eyes. From the driver’s seat emerged a tall girl with long black hair and… dog ears. Jade. Jade handed the map to Dirk.

“Okay, well, your first problem is, this is a map of the left sector. We’re in the right sector.” Jade grabbed the map back, looking at it again.

“Oh, nuts! Hold on, let me try to find the right map.” Jade disappeared up front again.

“So, what was that stuff I drank earlier?”

“Oh, just a form of alcohol that affects the language portion of the brain. One of my old friends made it a couple years ago. It became very useful when Dirk joined us.” Kanaya said, sitting on a chair across from the couch.

“Yeah, but like, how does it work?” Roxy had always been curious about how things worked.

“Honestly, I have no idea. I have no idea of how anything that clown came up with worked.” Roxy had an overwhelming desire to talk to this friend. Kanaya sighed before looking over at Roxy and eyeing her. “You’ll need a wardrobe update if you’re going to be seen with us.” Roxy looked down at her outfit, prepared to be offended, but, if she was being honest with herself, Kanaya wasn’t wrong. Her funeral dress was fairly destroyed.

“Okay! I figured it out! We can _finally_ leave.” Jade called back from the driver’s seat. Roxy heard her messing with some junk up at the front and then the van started. Jade pulled the van out to the road and moved the gear shift over to an odd symbol before punching the gas and shooting down the road. Roxy rushed to the front of the van, pressing her nose to the windshield. Upon reaching 100 miles per hour, the van lifted up and Roxy found herself staring at the moon as it passed her by. She turned and ran to the back of the van, watching the Earth fade away.

Back on Earth, a very disgruntled In-N-Out employee stared out the window at the receding van and then looked at the pick up in front of the window.

“Shit. What the fuck am I supposed to do about this truck.”

 

 


End file.
